Infertility & Adoption Waiting Issues ~

10 Ways to Survive the Holidays When You're Infertile or While Waiting for Adoption

The frenetic pace of the holidays can unravel even the most serene woman. For those who face fertility challenges, child-centered holiday gatherings compound feelings of grief and isolation. If the mere thought of babies being dandled by fawning relatives is enough to make you burst into tears and run for cover, try the following alternatives. You’ll not only survive the holidays; you may even enjoy them.

Brag about Bowser. Write a holiday newsletter from the perspective of your cat, dog, iguana or ferret. Detail the events of your pet’s year. Include pictures. Send it to everyone you know.

Skip child-oriented events. Send a note or special gift to the hosts, graciously declining their invitation. Console yourself by building a fire (or sitting in front of a toasty oven) and reading books by Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry.

Create a protective bubble. Before attending mandatory family get-togethers, rehearse standard responses to baby-related questions people might ask. Warn your relatives that you may arrive late or leave early. Contact a trusted family member before your arrival and schedule a leisurely walk together during the party.

Run away from home. Take a mini vacation with your partner to a romantic bed and breakfast inn. Make your relationship – not your baby quest – top priority for an entire weekend. Remind each other that it doesn’t take a child to make a family; you and your partner are a family already.

Learn a winter sport together. Cross-country ski, ice skate or snowshoe. They’re inexpensive, relatively safe, and emotionally refreshing.

Get crafty. Knit scarves, design jewelry or construct wooden paper towel holders. Sell them at a holiday bazaar.

Be spontaneous. Join a group of carolers and sing at your neighborhood nursing home.

Reach out. Invite another childless couple over to craft clay ornaments, bake cookies, or string popcorn.

Love others. Spend a day serving at the local soup kitchen, food bank, or shelter.
Write a romantic letter to your partner. Thank your partner for being part of your life, for loving you through the ups and downs. Wrap the letter in festive paper and present it to your lover as a special gift.

Write a romantic letter to your partner. Thank your partner for being part of your life, for loving you through the ups and downs. Wrap the letter in festive paper and present it to your lover as a special gift.

This article by Laura Christianson was published in Achieving Families magazine, November 2005.

More articles by Laura Christianson can be found at www.laurachristianson.com